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There's No Such Thing As 'Naughty': The groundbreaking guide for parents with children aged 0-5: THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER Paperback – 29 April 2021
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THE #1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER
'This book has changed my life' Joe Wicks
'As a parenting support book this is in a class of its own . . . It is perhaps the most helpful book for parents of children of any age' Professor Peter Fonagy, CEO Anna Freud National Centre for Children & Families
'This is a book that will change lives' Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Infant Psychologist
'This book is absolutely brilliant! I love that it is about parenting a healthy brain' Dr Guddi Singh, Paediatrician and Health Campaigner
Want to know the secret to tackling tantrums and tears, stopping squabbles in seconds AND lay the foundations for your child's good mental health in the process?
In There's No Such Thing As 'Naughty', mum to two young children, journalist and children's mental health advocate Kate Silverton shares her groundbreaking new approach to parenting under-fives that helps to make family life so much easier and and certainly a lot more fun!
Kate's unique strategies, easy-to-follow scripts and simple techniques will enable you to manage those tricky everyday challenges with ease - and help you to enjoy the strongest bond possible with your child, both now and in the years ahead.
Endorsed by leading figures in the field of children's mental health, at the heart of the book is a simple and revelatory way to understand how your child's brain develops and how it influences their behaviour.
Rooted in the latest science - explained really simply - this engaging, accessible and warm parenting guide will redefine how you see and raise your children, with a new understanding that for under-fives, there can be no such thing as 'naughty'.
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Kate has devoted much of her emotional as well as her academic mind to develop her approach to being a nurturing and loving parent. This book reflects Kate's genuine passion about children's mental well-being ― Dame Benny Refson DBE President Place2Be
Kate writes with humour and compassion, and without judgement, turning a potentially daunting subject into a personal one ― Susan Cooke, Head of Research and Evidence, NSPCC
This book is absolutely brilliant! I love that it is about parenting a healthy brain. It's wonderfully written, nicely laid out and with lots of practical advice and structure for parents to follow. It contains advice in there that even I would find useful to help my families in my practice with. It's everything you wish you'd known at beginning of being a parent and all the stuff we are just starting learn about brain development and the modern world. It is much needed and will be so helpful to parents everywhere ― Dr Guddi Singh, Paediatric Registrar, Guy's and St.Thomas' NHS Foundation Trust
In her incredibly creative exploration of the science of children's brain development, Kate Silverton has found a way to do what scientists themselves have often struggled to do: communicate that science to parents. Once you see the world through Kate's eyes - or more precisely, through the eyes of her lizard, baboon and wise owl - it will never look the same again. The personal stories she shares are the kind that other parents will find themselves remembering in moments of frustration, elation and helpless confusion. This is a book that will boost confidence and compassion. This is a book that will change lives. ― Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, Infant Psychologist
There's No Such Thing As 'Naughty' features many top tips to restore harmony in the household. Kate uses lizards, baboons and wise owls to demonstrate her unique approach in a simple way, while anecdotes about her own experiences with her kids will ring true to mums and dads everywhere' ― Sunday Post
- Publisher : Piatkus (29 April 2021)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 336 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0349428522
- ISBN-13 : 978-0349428529
- Dimensions : 15 x 2.6 x 23.2 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: 2,279 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer reviews:
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 4 May 2021
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I have no issue with the concept so far, it certainly isn't a ground-breaking concept, more one that I considered very well-known. Thats fair enough though as some people benefit from a reminder when all goes haywire and you find yourself reverting by default to techniques used on yourself as a child and to other children in the family, or due to advice from the older generation or those who don't agree with this concept. It's a fantastic idea to introduce this parenting style to any parent who wasn't already aware.
My issue is with the patronising tone. So far, it consists of an awful lot of the author assuming the reader is lacking in the intelligence department, and needs things simplified, repeated, written in capital letters (i've even come across a couple of emojis used in the text) being told 'not to worry' as everything will be simplified. When you don't require simplification, this makes for an irritating read. The author does include some information at the back regarding studies conducted, further reading etc but that doesn't remove the frustration for me as a reader...you don't have to be a genius to be able to understand an explanation of brain anatomy and function. And if the author didn't want to include too much scientific 'jargon' then thats fine...but maybe a bit less of the 'don't worry, I know this is difficult for you to understand, i've dumbed it down for you and hopefully this will make for easy reading' kind of thing (not quite a direct quote, but not far off).
I see there is some mention of single parenting...I do hate to read single parent advice from a person who is not a single parent, so I hope that isn't approached with more painfully patronizing phrasing.
Not for me.
The author Kate reduces the complexity of brain chemistry and development to a parable about three animals in a tree - the wise owl (frontal cortex), the fearful lizard (brain stem) and the reactionary baboon (limbic system) all sitting in the baboa tree (which signifies our brain structure). It's a decent enough idea to simplify the science, and to make it relatable, particularly if you wanted to explain it to your child, but oh my days she is SO PROUD of this analogy that she precedes to beat the metaphor into the ground over the next interminable 200 pages.
Although the book blurb touts that this is all backed up with scientific evidence, these extracts are frustratingly limited to one paragraph text boxes sprinkled through vomit inducing twee inducements to calm your child's scawy lizard, soothe their angry baboon etc...
The author's voice is intrusive and cloying enough that it was a slog to get through - I found myself wishing that her no-nonsense green beret ex-marine husband had written the book instead as his interjections (for a dad's perspective) were much easier to read, aside from his gushing about his marvelous, clever wife - are you okay Mike? Blink twice for yes.
I'm about to save you the book price here - the majority of tips are common sense - listen to your child, teach your child about emotions and guide them how to feel and express them, be present when with them (not on your screen - I am guilty of this one), and try to see things from their perspective - because all manner of tantrums will stem from (to the child) a valid reason. The author's suggested interventions will not be achievable for everyone who doesn't live in a fluffy, Waitrose wonderland.
One example of 'how to intervene' involved a scenario of running late to school, because the child is delaying the walk by climbing along a wall - rather than giving into 'old school' parenting and telling them to get down and walk more quickly, because you will all be late, apparently you should just let them carry on - encouraging them along the way so they feel attached to you, to hell with whether your boss might fire you for being late, because you should have been prescient enough to factor in more walking time!!
I was also not at all surprised to find that the author spent the first three days of her eldest child's transition to nursery in the cloakroom, in case her daughter needed her! The biggest flaw in the book is that it doesn't seem to grasp that in the really, real world you need to strike a balance between old school authoritative parenting (without being abusive) and new school fluffy talk out our feelings.
I think as well-intentioned as many of the book's tips are that if you were to follow them to the letter as a parent, you would end up with slightly entitled little people who have no resilience or preparation for an outside world. The author doesn't seem to recognise that in the outside world teachers, other adults or children are not going to be prepared to launch into a ten minute discussion of 'how that makes you feel' over every decision.
I would not recommend this as a consequence.
Hope there will be more books by Kate for older children and children with special needs.