This review will contain very mild spoilers just so you know.
I remember the day I decided to die.
Just like Nora Seed at the beginning of the novel I wanted to die. Although in my case it wasn't something I had planned a few days before nor was it because of a sequence of events. I had just had enough. I had run out of strength to fight any more. I had spent so long living with major deep depression - too long. Every day existing in a pitch black and inescapable prison of absolute misery. I had run out of time, run out of hope, and nothing in the tank left for the fight.
I just wanted to establish that I understand what the protagonist felt and Matt Haig too. I understand the aim of this book. While I applaud the intention, and Matt seems a really great guy, I do not like this book and didn't enjoy it. I have a number of problems with it. I actually brought this book on the day of its release but wanted to really let the book settle into me before I wrote a review.
My first problem is a simple one: it's badly written. In fact, shockingly so. I wonder how this guy is a major author because this is exceptionally bad writing. Huge unchewable chunks of this novel are exposition and much of what isn't breaks the cardinal writer's rule of "show don't tell." It's also not a good story.
I genuinely think that the author would have been much better suited to writing a self-help book rather than trying to cram this into a novel. As a story driving character-focused novel it is terrible. Characters are entirely unrealistic and seem to only exist to help explain the book's points.
An example is at the start of the book where Nora finds herself in a magical, seemingly infinite library, her reaction is "yeah, ok but I still want to die." As I explained at the start of this review. I suffered deep depression. I understand fully. Almost every day I wondered how I would make it to tomorrow. Would I be able to get out of bed and function? Almost every day I researched how I could die quickly and painlessly (it's quite difficult) and wondered if today would be the day I actually managed to find the "courage to go through with it." but even I in that state would be pretty impressed with a magical infinite library. Anybody would! But because the author needs the character to want to die she's not interested and unphased. This happens constantly throughout this book. Characters don't act or talk like real people. They exist only to serve the authors points.
Moving on to his points which is something I also disagree with. At the start of the novel, we see a sequence of awful things happen to Nora and she decides to die. It's mentioned in passing that she's on anti-depressants but the focus is on the awful events.
Now, this surprises me because Matt Haig suffered from depression and himself wanted to die. This is not how depression works and I fear that people reading the book who have either no history of depression or of mild forms will get the wrong idea. Most of the time depression has no discernable cause. This is one of the things that makes it so awful.
But there is nothing wrong with my life, you think. I should be happy! What's wrong me ME? This fact is one of the leading factors as to why people misunderstand depression. The whole snap out of it, cheer up, what's wrong with you, sorts of thinking derive wholly from a misunderstanding of what depression is. I feel strongly that this book is dangerous because it enforces the idea that depression is caused by "things that make us sad" or "our life not going to plan" when this is simply not the case. I actually think it wasn't the intention to come across this way but this is what comes across and I fear is what most people's take away will be.
The last problem I have with this book is the assertion that acceptance is the thing that will open the doors to happiness. This comes from the philosophy of Buddhism and a featured tenant of mindfulness. It says that no matter where you are and what you are doing there is always something good. Even just being alive is something to be joyous about. We should be present and appreciative no matter what.
I do actually agree that acceptance and gratitude and the small joys lead to a happy life. Where I don't agree is because this is a philosophy of passivity and simplification.
Just like the assertion that money will not make you happy. This is true. Money will not make you happy. The pursuit of money and things will not make you happy and in fact probably the reverse. However, there is more to it than that. It's more complicated. For example, many studies have shown a certain amount of money (enough to not worry about bills) has a massive effect on people's happiness. Above a certain amount this drops off and below the amount, people are much more likely to be unhappy. While it's true that Money won't make me happy if I had a million pounds in the bank and could pursue my life's passions and never have to work again can you really say I wouldn't be happier? OF course, I would. Happiness comes from within. I could be a millionaire but still be unhappy because I failed to appreciate life, life with passion, and chase dreams and experience instead of things and more money. But in reverse, I could be a millionaire and be much happier than I am now if I did those things.
The same is true of acceptance, joy, and gratitude. Those are important tools for happiness but just accepting your lot in life? I don't agree. Just like in the previous example of money there is more to it. If I live in a slum and have an awful disgusting job full of cruel injustices and abuse can you seriously tell me that I would not be happier if I had a better life with a job I enjoy and living in a nice clean home in a beautiful part of town? Of COURSE, I would.
We have to want to be more, we have to want to be better versions of ourselves not just for our own lives but those around us. Imagine our world if all the great thinkers, innovators, creators, inventors, artists, and politicians had just accepted their lot in life? Yes, we should strive to be grateful with our lot, we should take joy in the small things, we should be thankful for life itself and the everyday beauty that comes with it but not simply stop there. To insist there is not a better life where you are happier is wrong.
Nora seed wouldn't have been happier in any of her other lives because she wanted to run from who she is. She would be the same, Nora. This is where the book is wrong.
The book just wasn't good. It's so awfully written that even if I agreed with the points it tries to make I still would have been unhappy with it. I'm surprised there are so many great reviews but then the spice girls and a million other boy bands, girl bands, inane YouTubers, and shallow celebs prove that popularity is no guarantee of quality and in fact probably an endorsement for just the opposite.
As I said, I do appreciate what the author is trying to do and applaud him for it, even though we might differ in our what we believe. Next time he should probably just write a self-help book because this is just that but hanging it on a ghost of a story and skeletons of characters creates an awful book that ends up not being either wholly.
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Customer reviews
Life changing. Powerful. Amazing. Beautiful. Uplifting. A must read.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 August 2020
I don't think I can do this book/review enough justice but I'm going to give it my best shot... If there is one book I would urge you and shout at you to buy it would be this on. Go do it. Treat yourself You will not regret it. I promise. This is going straight into my top twenty of the year reads. I've awarded it five stars and I'd award more if I could! How do I start?I must admit it's not what I expected at all. But I feel it was just what I needed right now honestly. This book is going to be huge. This book for me was amazing, outstanding, life changing, powerful and thought provoking. Honestly have you ever felt so low you wanted to die? Then this book is for you. It will change your whole perspective on life. It has for me. It's taught me A LOT of life lessons and how I see my life. I actually have fallen in love with this book and I don't say that lightly.I don't want to ruin this for anyone but if you could view every possible outcome of your life would you? Would you ever be happy? Just wow. It's taught me to open my eyes, appreciate what I have not what I want. Life is life. Life is beautiful. I loved it all. I devoured it in a day. Beautifully told. An easy read for me done in a day but one I felt I NEEDED to read right at this moment in my life. Now this is my review others may feel differently about this book and some may hate it. But I cant explain how much I loved, enjoyed and needed this book. One I can always go back too when I'm feeling low. Uplifting.So thank you Matt. Absolutely brilliant. Grateful. It's really made me think and I miss it already. Perfection.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 August 2020
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Top reviews from United Kingdom
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 August 2020
I must admit it's not what I expected at all. But I feel it was just what I needed right now honestly. This book is going to be huge. This book for me was amazing, outstanding, life changing, powerful and thought provoking. Honestly have you ever felt so low you wanted to die? Then this book is for you. It will change your whole perspective on life. It has for me. It's taught me A LOT of life lessons and how I see my life. I actually have fallen in love with this book and I don't say that lightly.
I don't want to ruin this for anyone but if you could view every possible outcome of your life would you? Would you ever be happy? Just wow. It's taught me to open my eyes, appreciate what I have not what I want. Life is life. Life is beautiful. I loved it all. I devoured it in a day. Beautifully told. An easy read for me done in a day but one I felt I NEEDED to read right at this moment in my life. Now this is my review others may feel differently about this book and some may hate it. But I cant explain how much I loved, enjoyed and needed this book. One I can always go back too when I'm feeling low. Uplifting.
So thank you Matt. Absolutely brilliant. Grateful. It's really made me think and I miss it already. Perfection.
Life changing. Powerful. Amazing. Beautiful. Uplifting. A must read.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 August 2020
I don't think I can do this book/review enough justice but I'm going to give it my best shot... If there is one book I would urge you and shout at you to buy it would be this on. Go do it. Treat yourself You will not regret it. I promise. This is going straight into my top twenty of the year reads. I've awarded it five stars and I'd award more if I could! How do I start?Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 August 2020
I must admit it's not what I expected at all. But I feel it was just what I needed right now honestly. This book is going to be huge. This book for me was amazing, outstanding, life changing, powerful and thought provoking. Honestly have you ever felt so low you wanted to die? Then this book is for you. It will change your whole perspective on life. It has for me. It's taught me A LOT of life lessons and how I see my life. I actually have fallen in love with this book and I don't say that lightly.
I don't want to ruin this for anyone but if you could view every possible outcome of your life would you? Would you ever be happy? Just wow. It's taught me to open my eyes, appreciate what I have not what I want. Life is life. Life is beautiful. I loved it all. I devoured it in a day. Beautifully told. An easy read for me done in a day but one I felt I NEEDED to read right at this moment in my life. Now this is my review others may feel differently about this book and some may hate it. But I cant explain how much I loved, enjoyed and needed this book. One I can always go back too when I'm feeling low. Uplifting.
So thank you Matt. Absolutely brilliant. Grateful. It's really made me think and I miss it already. Perfection.
Images in this review
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 November 2020
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 14 August 2020
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 August 2020
I read it in one sitting, desperately not wanting it to end but wanting to find out how it turned out all at the same time.
When I got to the end I was in tears and I'm still thinking about it and trying to process it two days later. I don't know why, but I needed to read it and it arrived at the right time.
One of my very favourite authors.
You'll be thankful for the polar bear!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 August 2020
I am envious of every person who is yet to read this book, because to read it for the very first time is an emotional experience.Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 August 2020
I read it in one sitting, desperately not wanting it to end but wanting to find out how it turned out all at the same time.
When I got to the end I was in tears and I'm still thinking about it and trying to process it two days later. I don't know why, but I needed to read it and it arrived at the right time.
One of my very favourite authors.
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